Personalised Funeral Service

A personalised funeral service can be done in many different ways and at Roseberry Funeral Service we aim to offer you that personalised service that you and your loved ones deserve. This is the second of two parts looking at the ways that this can be achieved.

Coffin choice – Selecting the coffin can be one of the hardest parts of a funeral arrangement. It is such a personal choice and with whatever coffin or casket you choose, will represent the person for whom it is intended. There are many styles, types and materials that will enable you to make it personal. Wood types can differ greatly from oak, elm, mahogany, maple and cherry all from light to dark. There are many different styles and ornaments that can be added to personalise the coffin as well as the interior linings colour.
Apart from a traditional coffin there is now a much greater selection of coffins. Bamboo, banana leaf, Seagrass, Willow are all a natural alternative. These types are very popular for a natural or woodland burial but are not restricted to these.
For others that are looking for something a little different then there are the soft wool coffins, the eco-friendly cardboard coffins and the endless choice of the reflections range. Within the reflections range the exterior of the coffin can have on any design of your choosing. There are set designs to choose from but if you were looking for something in particular to adorn the coffin then this would be a very good choice.
Caskets are traditionally, and only recommended, for burials. There is a wide range of caskets to choose from for every style and to suit all individuals.

Burial site – When looking at burials there are four main areas to consider:
• Church yard – Many church yards are now full but it is worth discussing this with the local minister
• Cemetery – These can be run through the council or by a private firm.
• Woodland/natural – Most are run through private firms and offer a range. There are restrictions within the woodland and natural burial sites.
• At sea – Around 50 people each year are buried at sea. There are three places within the UK that allow this but there are restrictions that apply.
When considering the burial plot of yourself if pre-purchasing, or for a loved one on their passing, think about the person, having somewhere to visit, the memorial and the cost.
If the deceased did not want to be buried then there is always the option for cremation and then burial of ashes at any one of the burial sites listed above. These are just some of the burial sites for ashes that can be considered.

Committal first – One aspect of a funeral service that has started to change is the committal part of the service. This is where the deceased is committed to be buried or cremated. Increasingly people are opting for the committal to take place first and then the service side to be carried out at Church or place of worship. There are benefits and negatives to this that need to be considered and discussed with everyone involved.
For anyone considering this I would always recommend that they make it understood to everyone that the coffin will not be at the service. A newspaper announcement is the perfect opportunity to do this.

Symbolic releases – There are many ways to symbolise the life of someone at the service and can be a very poignant moment in the proceedings. The releasing of doves, balloons and Chinese lanterns can create a very special moment and also helps to involve others within the funeral service.

Get clubs involved – If they were a member of a club or organisation then why not ask them to be involved. I have seen this on many occasions and it is always heart-warming and very special to see. Personally I have seen tributes from organisations such as the British Legion, Scouts even a marching band.

Online memorials – There are many free online memorial website and your funeral director should be able to help you with this. At Roseberry Funeral Service we have a partnership with MuchLoved. With an online memorial, which can be set up before or after the funeral, this gives a place to show who that person was, to give details about their life, to light a candle in their honour, and for others to leave messages and write their own memories.

It’s a hard subject to discuss, but I thoroughly recommend that you all discuss with your loved ones the kind of service that you would like, including all the personal touches that would do you proud.

Personalised Funeral Service

As I look back at the funerals that I have conducted and been involved in I can see there is a strong move towards having a personalised funeral service. This doesn’t mean going to the extreme for every funeral but it could just be adding a touch of what the person was about. This is the first part of a two that look at the personal touches and differences that can be made to a funeral service. I hope that this will give you some ideas to consider and get you talking to your loved ones about what you would want.

Here are some ways to add a touch of personality into the funeral service. Please remember, never be scared to ask for something that means a lot to you or to the loved one that you are celebrating.

Transport – There is now such a wide range of funeral vehicles that could be used the choice is endless. These are very personal and not to every ones choice, but if it’s what they would have wanted…why not? The change can be as simple as a different coloured vehicle. Many people do not want the colour black and so have a silver or white hearse and limousines. Of course there are other variations to the tradition hearse:

• Horse and carriage
• Pink hearse
• Vintage hearse
• Motorbike hearse
• Bicycle hearse
• VW Camper van hearse
• Land rover hearse
• Tank hearse
• Eco electric hearse
• Only fools and horses hearse
• JCB hearse

Anything is possible

Flowers – Flowers are a part of the funeral service that shows a lot about the person. These can be traditional or modern and beautiful in their own right. Adaptation can be made by having flowers from your own garden, using their favourite colour or flower, and for the very keen vegetable gardeners there is also the option to use their own vegetables within the floral tribute.

On a different note there are also adaptations to the style of the tribute. I have seen many wonderful creations in my time including pigs, post boxes, fish, armchairs, football logos, horses, screwdrivers and many more. These were a mix of 2D and 3D and really show a different, unique side to the individual.

Music – A very personal part of the service and one that is very hard to select is the music.  Within this is how many pieces of music should there be. Traditionally there are two pieces of music and between 1-2 hymns depending on the type of service. A full Roman Catholic mass may have many more hymns within the service. For non-religious services it is becoming more common to have a piece of reflective music in place of a hymn. Within this time the congregation can take some time to remember the deceased. I would thoroughly recommend that this is something that is discussed as the music played shows the feel of the funeral and the individual. I have had the pleasure of hearing everything from Frank Sinatra to Johnny Cash, Metallica and even the Star Wars theme.

Speeches, reading, poems, and eulogy – It is a very poinient part of the service when the life of the deceased and the memories that people have with them are read out within the eulogy or within speeches. These can be funny, sad, shocking and very emotional. Readings and poems offer a way of expressing how you feel and can be either religious or non-religious. “The Broken Chain” is an example of a poem that could be used, especially when the death was unexpected or for someone younger. There are many sources to find such reading and poems but the best that I would recommend is your funeral director and your minister/officiant.

Photographs – These can be projected within a church or crematorium chapel and depict the life of the deceased.  These show all the defining moments from baby, growing up, teenage years, young loves, marriage, with children and grandchildren. Many crematoriums now have screens within their chapels and can have these playing to a piece of music. A simple single photograph can also be used to show the persons individuality. I have placed these within the hearse, alongside the coffin and by the flowers.

Order of service – These are the booklets that show the congregation how the service will be carried out, any words to hymns, where any charity donations are to be sent, any reception details and also gives a way of expressing yourself. There are many different styles out there and can be anything from 4 to 12 pages. If you’re stuck on what to do then ask your funeral director or other members of the family for inspiration. You will always be given a proof that will show you exactly how it will be laid out.

I hope this first part has given you some ideas on how you can individualise the funeral service, and that you find the second just as interesting.